And so you curl up in bed, and take a deep breath, and you think: my life does not suck, and tomorrow is another day, and I will face it, whatever it brings, and it will be good.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
mama said there'd be days like this
You know that moment... where some seemingly inconsequential little problem grabs a hold of you... and then the stresses just seem to compound head-over-tail and before you know it every little thing that's been bothering you for the past few months has suddenly gathered and is holding a virtual Caucus of Crap in your overwrought mind... and all of a sudden all the mature calmness you present to the world 98% of the time, all of your in-control, adult composure has melted away to expose a weepy little child ready to break down... and everyone around you seems to be too absorbed in their own lives to care or perhaps to even notice, so you decide to deal with it on your own, as usual, and this seems to be the moment that every creep out on the street decides to start hollering at you and you just want to scream, "I'm on the verge of tears, motherfucker, really, you find that sexy?! ...and then on the way home you see a guy in a wheelchair and three homeless people just trying to get somewhere for the night or get a few dollars for something to eat, just trying to survive, and suddenly you feel utterly ashamed for ever thinking your life sucked, even just a little bit... and yet that thought still can't quite quell the stubborn renegade tears...?
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Does this post somehow relate to your apparent preoccupation last night?
ReplyDeleteHey! Don't you worry, Mama said mama said.
ReplyDeleteHey! Don't you worry now.
while i've never catcalled anyone, "I'm on the verge of tears, motherfucker, really, you find that sexy?!" was an interesting insight to the other end of things.
there's this girl who tweets the catcalls she gets regularly and it's... just weird being a guy and knowing it exists.
but more than that, i've always thought, "well that's rude/dirty" but never considered the idea that the girl receiving the catcalls might also be going through a bad time of life.
Hey. I recently started reading your blog through Wishnack's profile link. Just wanted to say that I empathize with a lot of it. I liked the Reluctant Optimist one, the hot cocoa recipe!, the one about wanting to impress others when you were younger, and this one.
ReplyDeleteRecently I found out I'd won a poetry contest thing and was elated. I found out by email at work and thought, dammit, I can't jump and scream and dance cause I'm in a quiet corporate environment. And then a scream came from another room--a gut-wrenching one--cause this guy who'd just gone through surgery fell and hurt his arm (2-3 time cancer survivor). talk about feeling ungrateful. ack.