I know, I know, I have been terribly neglectful. Some may have thought I had completely abandoned this poor blog. Some have apparently even dared to think that I may have acquired this thing that I hear they call a "life". Well put your fearful minds at ease, I assure you this is not the case.
No, I would like to explain my absence by telling you all that I have in fact, for the past few years (although it appears to have been a mere few months for you all here on earth) been living a beautiful and thought-provoking existence on a faraway planet whose name I'm afraid I have never been able to pronounce, which I was brought to by some lovely new friends who were kind enough to have beamed me up to their ship, sometime... well, it looks like shortly after Earth Day 2010, what do you know!
To those of you who may interject here that you have seen me blatantly roaming the streets of San Francisco, may have in fact sworn you've spoken with me, I must explain that my earthly body was for this time replaced by a strikingly life-like hologram. And as we all know, holograms are terrible typers. Perhaps one day I will share some of my adventures, but for now I will simply leave you with this thought of the day:
A Short Essay on Bullshit & the Meaning of Life
This is how I see it: every day of our lives we are surrounded by bullshit. Big Bullshit. Little Bullshit. Funny Bullshit. Ugly Bullshit. And downright mean Bullshit. I mean, that's a whole lot of bullshit. It's finding a way to wade through all the bullshit to what's good and what's real--and the sense of humor we keep while doing so--that gets us through. Because if you get bogged down by it, you drown.
Oh, and luckily I haven't aged a bit! Life is good on planet what's-its-name.